13.1 in T-minus 5 days. Here are some musings.
-Racing keeps getting scarier. I mean, not really. There's nothing on the line or anything, but as I set my goal pace faster and faster, it feels scarier and I feel more vulnerable. Finally I have more empathy for something I once criticized Kara Goucher for. She did an article with Runner’s World about her self-doubts and lack of confidence issues that she battles if she lets her mind take the reins. When I first read it, I was downright appalled. An American record holder doubts her talent??? What is wrong with that lady?!?! I love Kara Goucher now and think she’s incredibly inspiring…but it’s taken me awhile to appreciate her struggles. Although I am NO WHERE NEAR her in terms of talent (duh), I can still relate to her description of the start line. It’s far too easy to look around and think, “whoa, all these other people look super fit and fast. I bet they are so much faster than me. Maybe I don't belong here. Blah blah blah.” The mind can be a huge detriment if you let it run hog-wild through negative-thinking land. I think my own fears are really tied up with disbelief. "THAT'S my goal pace? Can I run that fast?" This is actually a blessing in disguise; it means I have come a long way in my running and my brain doesn’t quite believe it yet!
-Excited for a destination race. Time to see what Charleston, SC is all about!